So there might be some truth to the Wicked Stepmother fairy tales after all:
*I once met a man whose memory of his stepmom was that she was very harsh and unkind. As an adult he could still remember how difficult his relationship was with her. Choked up, blinking back tears he would recall how she made him sit at the table and eat food he disliked, until one time he even threw up. He would recall how she was very loving to her own children but very hateful toward him. As a grown man, this recollection still brought much hurt to him.
*I once met a child who was beside herself with sadness because she didn’t understand why her stepmom didn’t love her or at least like her. “What is wrong with me? What’s so unlovable?”
*I met a grown woman who said she would have given anything to have had her stepmom say some positive things to her when she was a child. As an adult, you could tell her heart still ached.
*I met a grown man who wondered why his stepmom tried to keep his dad away from him. As an adult this was still confusing and upsetting to him. Why would she have tried to keep them apart all of these years?
Stepfamily life can be rough for everyone, a stepmom included. We stepmoms can deal with drama, custody battles, loyalty conflicts, outsider status, blending, and parental alienation. Don’t forget, Rule Number One in the Stepmom Club – no judging of other stepmoms! So, no judgment here, but in regards to my choices about the kind of stepmom I choose to be, the vision I have for my family, for the welfare of all of my kids….my vow is that I will not be that kind of stepmom. My stepkids will know they had a place in my home and that they were loved (even if they choose not to love back or love in their own way). I will not be the kind of stepmom who grows up kids to bear that kind of rejection and grief. I will not be that kind of stepmom.
Today I am grateful for the stepmoms I know who are making AMAZING impacts in their stepkids’ lives. Loving them, including them, making a place for them in their homes and in their hearts.
Proverbs 17:17 (NIV): “A friend loves at all times…”
What are you thankful for today?
2 thoughts on “Not That Kind of Stepmom”
Love your heart Heather! Makes me so sad to hear stories like what you’ve posted. That’s why we get a bad rap as stepmoms! Keep up the good work. Gayla
Thanks Gayla! Thanks for all that you do to support stepmoms! We need ladies like you to give us hope, godly direction, and a sense that we’re not in this alone!