Month: April 2016

The Stepmom Who Heard Voices

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It’s been said that we all hear a little voice in our head talking to us from time to time.  That little voice that tells us things.  Some say it’s like a tape we hear over and over.  (Tape as in tape cassette.  Yeah, that dates me, doesn’t it?)

Some tapes say things like:

“This will never get better.”

“This is not what I expected.”

“I can’t seem to do anything right.”

“I’m a failure.”

The good news is that sometimes we can change that “tape” that plays in our minds. Change it into something positive, inspirational.  Being a stepmom can be challenging for sure.  So, maybe, just maybe, we can make another “mix tape” to play in our minds.  (Back in the day…making mix tapes in the 80’s was super cool, even better when someone made one for you!  Maybe a little Prince, The Cure, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Journey, The Bangles….oh man, those were the days.  Anyway, I digress!).

Here are some ideas for my (and maybe your) new “mix tape” to play over & over:

“I am more precious than rubies.”  (Proverbs 3:15)

“I am strong and courageous.”  (Joshua 1:9)

“I am beautiful and wonderfully made.”  (Psalm 139:14)

“No matter what I go through, God is with me and protecting me.”  (Isaiah 43:2)

“All things work together for good for those that love the Lord” (Romans 8:28)

Today I am thankful that I can choose to listen to the “mix tape” of His truths and promises, not that little voice in my head or the messages the world gives!

What are you thankful for?

 

 

 

 

 

The Stepmom Who Shared

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Our son is four and he’s at the age when he’s learning to share.  He loves sharing his toys with his sister and teaching her about taking turns.

Tonight I came home and saw that my husband and son were snuggling in our giant bean bag chair.  They were having a great time watching a movie, eating popcorn and ice cream too!  When I tried to horn in on their boy time, my husband jokingly objected.

My husband:  “No, you can’t join us.  I’m snuggling with him, this is OUR time!”

My son:  “Daddy, share!”

Me:  “Daddy did share, honey.  He shared this movie with you, the ice cream and the popcorn.  You guys had a great time sharing all of this.”

My son:  “no Mommy, I mean Daddy should share ME with you.”

And of course we assured him that we would. He’s our “ours baby” and we definitely share him.  But part of me couldn’t help but wonder what this scenario is like for stepkids.  How often must they wish for their parents to share them more nicely?  How often do they feel they have to choose one parent over the other?  And how well can they really experience the joy of having their parents share in their lives when their parents are not in the same house or if they can’t get along for five minutes?

And so I stepped out of my Me-ness and remembered what their experience might be like, or should I say imagined what at least a sliver of what their experience might be like.

Today I’m thankful for the lessons I learn through being a stepmom, those of empathy and remaining tenderhearted in a fallen world.

Romans 12:15b (NIV)  “…mourn with those who mourn.”

Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV) “ And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

What are you thankful for today?