You know the story about the people sitting in the room with the elephant? It goes something like this. People were sitting all around the elephant. Each with a different view. Someone sitting in front of the elephant marveled at the beautiful head, the huge ears, and the magnificent trunk. She began to talk about how beautiful it was as she described its features. Then the person sitting behind the elephant exclaimed, “That’s not what the elephant looks like at all! It has a large backside, and a tiny little tail. That is what an elephant looks like.” How interesting that to each person, the same elephant looked very different depending on where they were sitting.
I ponder my beautiful, ever slowly, but steadily, blending stepfamily. At times I wonder if I am seeing a beautiful long trunk but someone else is staring at the big bu– and not enjoying the view as much.
As a stepmom, I have learned (with time) that in a blended family we don’t all share the same view. Take for example, the joy that a newly married couple experiences when after a hard divorce they find a new love to spend the rest of their life with! This overwhelming joy can be experienced by many stepmoms and dads when their marriage begins. But at the same time, the stepkids can be experiencing mixed emotions. They can experience confusion and deep sorrowfulness at the time their dad marries their stepmom. For them, the focus might not be a joyful union, but the deeply sad end of their family as they knew it.
Romans 12:15 (NIV) says: Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Sometimes I feel like I’m a zookeeper stepmom, making sure each unique “animal” is ok and taken care of. And I try to remember that someone might have the view of the elephant’s backside today, that it’s not pleasant, and they need all the extra grace and kindness they can get. I am thankful for God’s direction to walk along side those who are rejoicing or mourning.
What are you thankful for today?
4 thoughts on “The Zookeeper Stepmom”
Very good, my dear friend. You’ve always had so much insight. Love always ~ your fellow sister in Christ and fellow step-mom (who was referred to as the “Step-Monster” by my husband’s ex to his then 2 yr old daughter when we 1st got sole custody of her…Lovely, right? – ex lately apologized & it’s all good, under the blood of Jesus). xo – ML
All thanks to God who makes miracles happen for us step monsters and our precious families. Xo.
btw – not so thankful today for my beautiful “bonus” (step), but currently pre-teen pain in the butt, daughter who’s now 12 yrs old who I forget she didn’t come out of my belly since we’re so close and we’ve had sole custody since she was 19 months….but that doesn’t mean I don’t praise God every day we get to raise her!
You are such a great stepmom, to the point where I know you forget you didn’t give birth to her. I love that about you. You and your huge heart. Xo.