This Stepmom Has It All


This stepmom has it all…or does she?  Ok, I admit that was intended to be an eye catching title.  Here’s how the real story goes.

Years ago I was venting to my dear friend about my stepfamily woes.  Probably went something like this, “This is not what I expected, we were supposed to be so happy.  This is the man of my dreams, but everything is so messy.  The kids adored me until I married their dad, now they want nothing to do with me.  There is so much stress with the ex.  Now we are being pulled into court.  I never knew this would be so stressful.  This is not what I signed up for…”  And on and on I went.

Then I came up for air, paused for my friend to add her empathic comments to confirm how dire my circumstances were.  And she said, “I always knew you’d have everything you ever wanted.”  (Cue noise of car coming to a screeching halt.)  Was she even listening to me?  Did she hear a word?  And then I remembered that this is my friend who sees a silver lining in everything.  She is uniquely gifted that she can see amazing things in very dark situations.  She can see God at work when others cannot.  She went on to say, “You have a wonderful husband, a home, and you finally have children! I always knew God would give you those things.”  And while my perspective was dark, she saw light and His hand in things.  What a huge lesson for me.

To this day, in times of trouble, my husband and I will look at each other, smile and say “I always knew you’d have everything you ever wanted.”  It reminds us to have perspective, to see the blessings in things, and to reframe tough situations as best we can.  Then we have a laugh together and know we’ll get through whatever has come our way.

Today I am thankful for a wider perspective.  An eternal, not temporal, perspective.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV):  “For I know the plans I have for you,  declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

What are you thankful for today?


3 thoughts on “This Stepmom Has It All

  1. Ok I’m crying and laughing at the same time. God sure knew what he was doing when he had you & I run into each other after a mandatory fire drill in the parking lot at work & really talk about stuff besides work! I’ll always be so thankful for your life-long friendship, my precious friend. Even in the midst of your pain over the last 14 yrs since I first met you, you’ve always managed to make me laugh! Like the time when I was a very depressed & newly single mom & you took my daughter & I Christmas tree shopping to cheer me up and this lady swoops in and tries to steal the parking spot we had patiently waited for at Home Depot! I probably would’ve said a few not-so-Christian things in front of my kid. You, however, said, “We see you, you sneaky lady trying to steal our spot”. & that Christmas when you delivered many amazing gifts for me and my children because my ex decided to not give me child support that month so he could look like the hero and buy all sorts of nice things for my kids whereas I couldn’t because I had to pay bills. I’ll never forget that ever! There’s many more stories of laughter and your kindness you’ve shown me time & time again, but then I’d be writing on YOUR blog all day!

    With much love & appreciation, your forever friend & partner on this step-parenting journey God has given you & I, MaryLou

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